But of course, we cannot expose ourselves to all of our fears with the goal to overcome them. Exposure to some of the fears we have may not be possible, make sense, or even be safe. In the case of a fear of death (thanatophobia), this is one example of a fear we can't really address directly to eliminate our worry and discomfort.
While the fear of death is frequently a result of depression or an anxiety disorder, or may even trigger as a result of a loved one's death or due to a chronic, possibly-fatal health condition you or a loved one have been diagnosed with, this phobia can come about for other reasons and may also need to be treated via different means. Some claim the fear of death is normal and healthy for a human being of virtually any age, but when it is intrusive, consistent, and/or debilitating, thanatophobia can be unhealthy, joy consuming, and mentally exhausting. The good news is, thanatophobia is manageable. Some say they have even been cured of it and now lead a "normal" life.
Desensitizing Your Thoughts
Although the fear of death should not be overcome by engaging in such an experience before it is meant to happen for you, there is still a way you can desensitize yourself from that fear. It all starts with desensitizing yourself on a mental level, whether on your own or alongside the help of a professional.
As much as it may seem counterintuitive and intimidating, thinking more about your fear of death may eventually help you come to terms with your thanatophobia. While often the greater our fear is towards something, the more we want to avoid it and repress it, this only works like a bandage; it merely covers up our true thoughts and feelings while we still subconsciously have an issue that needs to be addressed. Sometimes leaving the bandage on for too long only makes things worse.
Rather than putting your fear on the backburner, start thinking about it on a deeper level with an open mindset. Instead of dwelling on the negativity surrounding death, think about why you have that fear and what death means to you. Is death an end-all-be-all? Do you fear that death is a continuation of the consciousness you can't stand? Is it something you believe to be the start of something new, something you are intimidated by or unsure of? Often, we associate death with black-and-white thinking; we either accept it or are utterly afraid or even angry by the thought of it. Some of us, though, don't know how to wrap our heads around it at all, but we should learn to.
The more you think about your fear of death in an insightful manner, the more you may realize the rationality and logic behind such a fear. Some people fear death because they worry about the future. Some fear it because they are afraid of having lived an unfulfilled life. Others fear it because they worry about leaving their loved ones or are nervous about the experience of death itself. In the end, whether we are to die in the next minute or die in the next 50 years, it doesn't make sense to fixate on something that will happen to us one time out of our control. It also doesn't make sense to mentally or emotionally plan for a chapter when we have a handful of other chapters in our lives to cover first. Although, it's not so easy for us to come to terms with that.
Being Mindful and Accepting What Will Be
Some people are prisoners of their past. As for others, it's the future that haunts them. For someone with a fear of death, they may be dwelling on something that may not happen for them for several years or even decades, but that's the thing: we don't know when, why, or how it will happen, but it will when it is our time. However, it is not our time. The time we have alive on Earth is here now; death is merely a transition from our human life to something else, whatever we consider that to be.
Although many may not like to hear this, getting in touch with your religion or specific spiritual beliefs can help one learn to feel more content with death and what is on the other side. For many, spirituality is a way to be mindful in the moment while also being accepting of whatever your future will hold rather than fearful, uncertain, hurt, or angry with the future. For many, a belief system regarding the process of death and after such can bring a level of peace that is virtually unexplainable.
Regardless of your religion or spiritual standpoint, learning to live in the present can be a battle but a battle well worth it. The art of being mindful involves paying attention to your current surroundings and turning off the excess chatter in your brain to replace the thoughts that are only depriving you of joy rather than allowing you to be positive, insightful, and make mental progress.
Today, practice thinking more about what makes death so scary to you and what good could come out of it (e.g., a new life, a continuation of life, etcetera). Overwhelm your mind with these scary yet insightful and therapeutic thoughts before delving into a mindful, accepting state. You'd be surprised by how good you may feel after thinking about your fear of death for, say, a half hour straight. Think of it as a detox, a detox from toxic thoughts, feelings, and emotions. After that detox, that's when you can have an easier time immersing yourself into a mindful, content, and accepting state of mind, allowing you to "come back" to the present.
While we are allowed to think about and plan for the future, and should, being mindful and indulging in the present can remind us how important it is to enjoy and show gratitude towards the beautiful gift of life we were given. Although you may have to use the past as a reference at times or even tend to the uncertainties of the future, never skip or skim your story; indulge in each and every word, one page, one chapter at a time. Don’t let fear impede your progress and the quality of the life you have right now.
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